I love a great breakthrough. My favourite kind is when I’m writing and the ideas fall in to place and it feels like the story is writing itself.
This breakthrough wasn’t like that. I don’t have a finished manuscript in front of me. The beauty of this breakthrough is that it will let me eventually get to that goal.
I took a break from writing. Well, that’s not completely true. It wasn’t as much a break as it was giving up. I got completely stuck on “oh my god, do I have an adequate concept.”
I spun. I twisted. I fretted. I didn’t t write. I didn’t move forward.
To be fair, there was also a little matter of my mom ending up in the hospital. Between the back and forth and spending copious time in the depths of fear and worry, I didn’t have the time or energy.
While that’s the truth, I also had to ask myself, “Self, do you have the will?”
I was going to give it another week of laziness, using the fact that we’re at a cottage as an excuse. But then I was left alone for a few hours. The book I’m reading wasn’t calling me. I found the perfect place to study.
Instead of moving ahead to the next competency in the book, I reread the section on concept. Maybe it’s the fresh air or the fact the sun is finally shining or maybe it’s the rice crispie square I ate with great gusto. What ever the reason, this time I was less uptight about the whole thing. This time different words stood out to me:
“At some point”
“During the process”
“Can’t ever know for sure”
You mean I don’t have to be perfect?
With that breakthrough, that bit of permission, I could move forward. I was able to see that I can’t be married to every element of my original idea and came up with a couple of ways to improve my concept. The rest will continue to unfold. I’m early on and need to take my time – as long as I keep going.